Monday, January 16, 2012

The Red Sea of Silence

This past weekend I went on a silent directed retreat, and it was scary. Silence is not my bag, baby. But we need solitude, we crave solitude, and we only begin to discover the joyful company of self in that solitude. In this discernment process I have been afraid, deeply, intensely, to-my-very-core afraid of making decisions. While I will continue to "unpack" this retreat and come to find what it means I have discovered one thing, and that is, like Moses (whom I love) I am called to step into the sea and allow the fear of the unknown to become the joy of surprise. So, one of the things I encountered this weekend was a poem and it really spoke to me. I prayed with this poem all weekend and now it hangs on my bulletin board:


When Summoned to Proceed

Standing on the brink of a Red Sea
(yet to be once more miracled apart)
how the flesh shrinks, how the breath's drawn in.

For why leave? Why step out from
this solid shore, this inexorable halt
where all that befalls (however cruel) at least will come
in a known form, from a recognized source?

The waters stretch, drown-deep, ahead.
Nothing can be seen across the heave of them.
No Promised Land:
no glades, no groves
no vineyards sweet

with their ripening fruits, or fields gleaming
from afar with corn...

One stares out, breath caught in throat.

"Nothing is there! Nothing at all!"

Only when the trembling foot is set
in the very break of surf on shore
do the waves rear back, like jasper walls!

And a whole great enterprise comes clear.

Shalom, 
Until next time,
Joe

1 comment:

  1. This has nothing to do with this post, I just don't know your gmail address and knew you'd read this. So I was thinking about chastity, and I think the question, "Have you been living a chaste life" can be re-stated to ask, "Have you habitually embraced and expressed your sexuality in a way that allows God to draw you closer to Himself?" I think the answer is yes. I know it is for me. Even in my sin, my lapses, God draws me to Himself. I try to live continually in the context of God drawing me to Himself, using the Suscipe (Jesuit, I know), saying "Take, Lord, receive all my liberty, memory, will, and yes, sexuality. You have given all to me, to you I return it to use as you see fit. I will not always get it right, but the overall context in which I choose to express the gifts you've given me (including sexuality) is of donation to the service of Your will." To me, that's chastity. Sorry to hijack your blog, but whatever.

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